It seems I have been called to focus my themes of teaching on guilt. This really intrigues me and has been one of the most challenging times in my spiritual path, for guilt dances with all of our experiences as humans. We cannot escape feeling and/or projecting it at one time or another. The qualities of Love require the complete release of guilt, and the decision for full and unconditional forgiveness wait as we move in and out of the grip of guilt’s pull.
In the next few weeks, I will be discussing this vital teaching from A Course in Miracles, Chapter 21. In this chapter, four significant questions are posed for us to ask ourselves and decide upon. This week we will take a look at all four, and prepare ourselves for answering them as we go along over this month.
The Course leads us into the questions first by pointing out the times in our lives where we have been in a state of mind where we are angry and afraid. I went to a time when I was married, and living with an emotionally abusive spouse. Either I was feeling guilty for not pleasing him, or seeing him as guilty for victimizing me and often both at the same time. If I was focusing on my guilt, I felt powerless to change myself into someone he could love…if I was seeing him as the enemy, I felt powerless to protect myself and my daughter against his attacks. This is an intense case, but I am sure most of us have played victim and felt powerless at times, or felt the sting of being the “enemy”.
“These are the dark ones, silent and afraid, alone and not communicating, fearful the power of the other will strike them dead, and raising up their helplessness against him…They are indeed a sorry army, each one as likely to attack the other or turn upon himself as to remember that they thought they had a common cause.”
We know this as the dance of the ego. It’s like having that argument that never ends. It is illusion fighting against illusion. “Dreams have no reason in them. A flower turns into a poisoned spear, a child becomes a giant and a mouse roars like a lion.” We see and hear things out of a twisted sense of powerlessness. In hindsight, my husband must have felt very guilty, too. But maybe he felt like a mouse and needed to roar like a lion. Perhaps I was the flower who turned into a poisoned spear to him…At one horrible time, we turned my daughter into the giant, and made her the reason for the conflicts in our lives. “This is no army, but a madhouse”, says the Course. Indeed.
Thank you God for consciousness, for healing, and for vision! To see through spiritual vision instead of the physical, egoic “eye”, we ask ourselves these questions.
1. Do I desire a world I rule, instead of one that rules me?
2. Do I desire a world where I am powerful instead of helpless?
3. Do I desire a world in which I have no enemies and cannot sin?
4. And do I want to see what I denied because it is the truth?
Next week we will focus on questions 1 & 2. In the meantime ponder what they might mean for you. As we do, we will move closer to remembering our “common cause”, a Cause that leads to happiness!
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